What to Expect When You're Taking the Bar

Two weeks before the Bar, the weird dreams/nightmares kick in.

One week before the Bar, you cry hysterically over a commercial or episode of Glee. It's especially weird because you're crying over something Rachel says, and normally you want to stab Rachel. You will sob and sob and sob in the fetal position while your boyfriend stares at you in confusion. Realize this is why no one wants to marry you. Cry some more.

Six days before the Bar, you can't get access online bar materials. You think about suing the internet. Your brain starts thinking about the rules of joinder. You forget the analysis for an indispensable party. Cry.

Five days before the Bar you start picking fights with people in your head. You win, but you still cry.

Four days before the Bar, you go out in public and are amazed at all these awake, alert people who are doing things like going to wine tastings. You realize you have forgotten that people do things like that. You cry.

Three days before the Bar, you go to the coffee shop because you need to see actual people. You listen to music in your car and sing along and drink your iced coffee. When you get home, you can't bring yourself to turn off the car and go study. Sit in the car. Cry.

What will the next two days be like? I'm scared.

The Official Apology Letter, and Studying for the Bar Sucks

Maybe you remember me telling you I was going to blog my outfits while I studied for the bar? Perhaps you seem to remember a few posts wherein I did that? And those posts had pictures? Ah! Happy Annie. That was long ago. These days my wardrobe is a rotation of yoga pants and tee shirts. That's it. I do have a couple pictures to share with you, but when I promised you near-daily posts of outfits, I had yet to realize the panic and despair that sets in when there are three weeks left to go before the bar. It isn't fun. It isn't pretty. It means that you cry a lot, provoked my stupid things (maybe an ASPCA commercial perhaps, and no, not even the Sarah McLaughlin one, or maybe an episode of Glee, I'm just saying maybe). It means that you can't fall asleep and you are stress-tired. And maybe there was a time you cried because you wanted your mom, but you're a grown up and shouldn't do things like that anymore probably, again, just saying maybe that could happen to you. And you will probably get so angry at the noise of people TALKING in a hallway that you make signs with the rules of assault and battery that you will inflict on them if they don't shut it, plus a brief description of assumption of the risk and transferred intent. You stop working out because it just seems like too much, and then when you DO workout, your ab muscle cramp up and you don't know what because that never happened before. And you know what that last thing is that you want to do when you get home between 8 and 9 in the evening? If you said open up your laptop and write words, you are correct. I didn't take pictures, I didn't write, and I drifted off to sleep thinking "This suuuuuuuuuuuuuucks..." instead. So I let you down, and I'm sorry, but maybe I did that thing where I said "YES!" to everything and then didn't do all those things.

So, okay, I didn't keep up like I was supposed to. And I'm just not going to be able to deal with knowing there's something I am supposed to do that I am failing to do for the next two weeks. I'm going to take an unapologetic break from this blog, and then, after I recover from the trauma of the bar exam, I'll be back with happiness and dresses and rainbows. Oh and ponies. Like this.

I remember horses. And outside. And smiling.

See you guys in a couple weeks.

Love,
Annie