Oh, GOD. Ok, fine, I’ll update.
I promise, I had all kinds of great ideas for this next post. And by “all kinds of great ideas” I mean “one.” I was going to talk about the VMAs, which I didn’t even mean to watch, but it just sort of happened. I was going to praise Lady Gaga’s sartorial choices, except for the meat dress, which I don’t think she thought out very well, and then I was going to complain about Taylor Swift, Justin Beiber, and all the rappers I didn’t know. Obviously, it was going to be epic.
But then I had this thing called a “wake up call.” You know, where you have a good idea to talk to someone, and then that person basically tells you that the last two years of your life have been pointless and your grades don’t matter, and that what you should have been doing is socializing and volunteering to play with puppies, and pretty much everything else you would have RATHER have been doing than studying, but you didn’t because you thought that getting good grades and being on Law Review were what would get you a job, and now you have to spend every free moment “putting yourself in front of law firms” and networking and stuff, and also your resume, which you thought was pretty sweet for a 26 year old, is actually NOTHING and WHY HAVEN’T YOU BEEN DOING ANYTHING WITH YOUR LIFE and YOU BETTER START MAKING PEOPLE TALK TO YOU AND THEN PRETEND TO ASK FOR THEIR ADVICE SO THAT SOMEDAY THEY WILL REMEMBER YOUR NAME AND MAYBE TELL SOMEONE ABOUT YOU SO THAT SOMEONE MIGHT HIRE YOU AND YOU WON’Y HAVE TO WORK AT COSTCO UNTIL YOU’RE 62. YOU DON’T EVEN VOLUNTEER. ARE YOU SELFISH OR SOMETHING? HAVE FUN WORKING AT COSTCO. I mean, the career counselor didn’t scream like that, but that is how my brain is remembering the conversation.
I guess what is really disappointing is that I thought the most terrifying year of my life was my first year of law school. NO. It’s actually the year before you graduate. Because really, there is not much you can do about your GPA now, you still have to keep showing up at class, you still have to put in the time in Law Review, but NOW you get to wake up in cold sweats in the middle of the night hyperventilating because you dreamed you were decorating a sheet cake at Basha’s and you had WRINKLES. Oh, and also, the lights in your hallway at the apartment you still live in are out.
My wake-up call was really more of a "Wake up, your nightmare is about to become a reality if you don't get it in gear, because you don't know anyone and you have been wasting your time worrying about dumb stuff like grades." I have been spending every free minute since then working to rectify this, and that does not leave much time for blogging.
So this whole post is just to tell you that I haven’t forgotten about you. Hi! I miss you! But also to let you know that my crazy boyfriend who mentioned that I should apparently be updating this thing 2 times a week is going to be disappointed because THAT WILL NOT BE HAPPENING. (Also, why? I do not understand what the magical 2 posts a week thing will accomplish. Oh, and p.s., I had another blog topic in mind, and that was going to be about how much this blog would suck for you if I had to write two posts a week. That makes two epic posts I was going to write but didn't because if I stop planning my "networking" for a minute, I start hyperventilating.) So, bear with me! I promise to stick with this thing. Someday, I’ll be chronicling my career at Costco on it, probably.
Oh, let’s be real. I would never work at Costco. I’m more of an AJ’s girl.
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