What I Wore for Evidence, Contracts 1, and also IN YOUR FACE

What I Wore for Evidence Day 1 (Friday):

Ruched Hourglass Top from Anthropologie

Levi's Jeans via Macy's

LC Wedges

Fossil Watch

Hat from Target

Ugh. Let's promise each other we will never use iPhones to take pictures inside, ever again. We don't look good, friends. Anyway, Friday was day 1 of Evidence. It was actually supposed to be day 2 of evidence, but I was a day behind. So anyway. This top. I loved it. I mean, it's polka dots, a boatneck, and has a cute little button detail in the back, so, right? And then during dinner, I dropped a lemon on myself, as I do, and this top was a victim. The color bleached right out wherever the lemon touched. I was so sad. Because, let's be honest. I drop a lot of stuff, frequently on myself, and this loss of color has never happened to me before. So I was hoping I would at least get store credit if I took it back. Do you know what happened? They let me return it. God bless you, Anthropologie. God bless. Anyway, I hope you didn't get attached to that shirt, because it is gone now. I did. A little.

Oh, and I didn't wear this hat at any point during the day, except to ham it up for Brady. Which is how I spend about 90% of my day.

What I Wore for Contracts Day 1 (today):

Old Navy dress

Roxy flip flops

Marc Jacobs sunglasses

So today was Contracts Day 1: offer, acceptance, and consideration, also known as: FORMATION! I bet you are all just so jealous of how fun my life is. Today I took a huge risk and wore a dress to study. This is a huge risk because I am a huge slut. Just kidding. It's a huge risk because that room is FREEZING and I seriously risk frostbite if I am not wearing three layers of clothes. I DID supplement this with my black hoodie and also ankle socks. Stylin'. 

After the lecture, I persuaded Brady to let me go to the mall. Actually, I told Brady we were going to the mall. See, we had to go attempt, and successfully return the above aforementioned polka dot top of lemony sadness. So anyway, I didn't like this dress outfit for shopping. You guys have to be dressed appropriately for mall shopping, too, right? Kay, good. So, I changed clothes.

Now, what you are about to see, no one has seen before, or at least not in the last 11 or so years. Because 11 years might actually be how long it has been since I have worn shorts. This is for a very simple reason: one day, a long, long time ago, a girl I knew said I had fat legs. I did have fat legs! OH WAIT NO I DIDN'T AND WHAT WAS WRONG WITH THAT PSYCHO ANYWAY? I'll be succinct: this girl, and I am not going to name names, but she was a huge bully. She was mean. My lot in life cast me into close proximity with her for a number of years, and for a lot of days out of those years, this chick was super mean, not just about my fatty fat legs, but also about how dumb I was, how incapable I was, and how I would never achieve my dreams. But she was a child, you say! Kids! You can't take them seriously! That was a long time ago! YES IT WAS! And you know what, mean things stay with you. One effect of this was that I was unable to wear shorts for a long time. I only recently began starting to wear dresses and shorts, and even then, it is fraught with distress over hemlines and heels and OMG I CAN'T WEAR FLATS I AM GOING TO WEAR HEELS FOREVER AND EVER. It's super not fun.

But you know what? It's hot. I am tired of wearing pants because of my fat stumpy leg shame. And, I think this is a good time to break out some shorts (I own two pairs, both of which I bought in the past three weeks), because this week in therapy (yep) I am to write a therapeutic letter to Madame Super Bitch. If you haven't gone to therapy, or ever read a self-help article, a therapeutic letter is a letter you write to someone telling them how you feel and then you don't send it. You don't even show it to anyone, except maybe your therapist. And then you destroy it. And then you supposedly feel better. My letter is due Thursday. I'll let you know how I feel. Anyway, here is the proof that I not only wore shorts today, but I also looked a little bit hot. And hey, Madame Super Bitch? You can kiss my fat ass*.

What I Wore:

Rogan for Target blouse

Mossimo shorts

LC Wedges (I am definitely getting my money's worth out of these puppies)

* I know I will catch flak for this, but here's the thing? We all have our issues. I bet your issues are things that I would NEVER think would be an issue. Maybe you don't have any issues, and good for you! I have issues. It is called "My entire bottom half of my body, and sometimes parts of my top half." I won't hate on your issues if you don't hate on mine.